I invited my friend over and I didn't even spend a lot of time with her D: She preferred to chill with my brother and friends... I feel so lonely right now... I want to cry ;A;

I know I'm not a great person, and I'm really boring, and that I'm just so fucked up right now... I can't erally understand why she calls me a friend in the first place...

She probably just feels bad and says it to come over and chill with my brother... Who knows...


On another note: I might have to go to the mental hospital soon. I'm feeling so overwhelmed with paranoid thoughts that I can barely go in a store without wanting to cry. I really hurts to think about it... I'm like now crying while typing this... It's not really fair either. I mean like, My family suffers just because I have unrealistic thoughts and feelings.

When I think about it, Why would anyone want to torture me and whatnot? I'm such a loser disgusting nobody anyways, why would anyone even want to touch me? It hurts no matter how I look at things.